Good evening to all media receivers at home and welcome to the annual sports highlight in Germany. The Datterich in Darmstadt. As every year, we can look forward to top sporting performances from another world at the local triathlon. And yet, we want to concentrate above all on the crème de la crème, the VfL Osnabrück of triathlon: the two teams " Fighting. Biting. Sweating. Namics." from the ever-popular full-service digital agency Namics. Two teams of 10 men each (m/f/d) peppered with top-class endurance sports luminaries. In order to be able to say who will be ahead in the end, one must be an extremely experienced Haruspex. But for a first impression let's switch to the warm-up pool. As we can see, the 20 top sportsmen and women here are still happily romping around the shower fungus like an extended family of sea otters.
It's quarter past twelve, let's switch over to the Michael Gross swimming pool, where the starting signal for 380m swimming is given. You should see this, ladies and gentlemen. How the just calm water turns into a bubble bath deluxe and the top people in front crawl away. But, you have to admit, what happens behind them reminds you of the elegance of freshly hatched tadpoles wriggling through the water. But no matter, the motivation is right. Thomas Walter, who catapults himself out of the water after an absolutely unbelievable 5:35 minutes, makes a blatant comeback to Datterich after 15 years of absence. Behind him, newcomer Mika Pertek and the Grande Dame of Sport Ellen Hellwig are the next to lift themselves out of the pool. According to rumours, the first one is said to have built himself a pool in the garden as a preparation. Whether the two can count will never be known. But also the rest of the Namics teams leaves the pool paradise after 11:52 at the most. These are magic times that even dolphins can only dream of!
Let us now look at the transition area. Last year's leader Markus Neininger shows here with 1:31 his absolute top class and gets alone here on the team members up to two minutes out. Try to copy this at home in the time. Get out of the shower wet, run to the wardrobe, put on clothes and run away with a bike. And while I'm digressing here, Elli Nägele is causing confusion. In Birkenstock she gets on her bike. You haven't seen that either. And at least Ellen Hellwig and Kerstin Raitl are so irritated that they have forgotten their helmets and start numbers and are allowed to turn around again. Sacrament, something is going on here!
And with it out on the 18km long bike course. Achim Zeller, a friend of the well-kept gyroscopes on the race track, is extremely fast here. Behind him, a big Pulk Namicsler makes it around the course in the middle 30 minute range. What par force riders! One should take special care of Julia Dick and René Kohlmann, for whom this wouldn't be enough competition with a smart bike and who therefore started with mountain bikes. Chapeau, I bow down until my head hits the commentator's desk!
But now we should look ahead to the future, because something very big is about to happen. Thomas Walter leaves the bike course after an incredible 29:54 and rushes straight through the second transition area onto the running course. Let's remember: the previous Namics record at the Datterich is 59:56, set by the legend "child swimming goggles" Wagner. The rumour that this record is shaky today is spreading among the fans faster than venereal diseases among RTL2 reality show participants. 4.2km running we still have to wait and see!
But stop, even a little further back the madness rages! Elli Nägele jumps off her bike into her Birkenstock...and runs with them directly on the running track! Are the Swabians already too stingy for real running shoes? You won't be able to close your mouth here anymore.
By the way, this also applies to the majority of the field now. With wide open mouths you try to pump some more oxygen into your body. It's not a pretty picture, but we can't close our eyes to the hard reality. Especially Julia Dick and Johannes Wali seem to have a good oxygen uptake, they both are riding through the Bürgerpark in Darmstadt, which makes you spit. At the same time Kerstin Raitl pulls away from the astonished Stefan Bechtold and lets him swallow her dust. This is the time in triathlon when legends are made. And at the same time, the Birkenstock woman joins equipment king Steffen Kopmeier. I'm getting foolish! Sensations and dramas are happening on every corner...THIS MUST be experienced LIVE!
But before they bite their fingernails up to the shoulder joints at home because they can't stand the tension anymore...what is Thomas Urgewalter doing on his record hunt? He crosses the finish line with a crazy 16:59 and a smile on his face. End time 55:43! What secret powers does this man possess? And at which weekend seminar did he get them?
But let's not be distracted for too long by the mountains of roses, knickers and stuffed animals thrown into the finish area, because the next legends of passion are already crossing the finish line with Markus Neininger and Achim Zeller. And anyway, after just 1:27:40, all, I repeat: ALL!, 20 Namicsler have made it to the finish. Nobody believes this, the fascination of sport in its purest form!
Perhaps in this moment of pure joy, one should also briefly remember the tireless helpers in the background, without whom such achievements would certainly not be possible. Family Mehlkopp, family Klemme, the power Elewski, the young Lauer...in the name of all: Thank you for your support!
And so, dear listeners, I would like to say goodbye to you with a final statement before we start to burn off numerous calories: Songs will be sung about this race in the distant future!
Start list 2019 in purely random order: